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The silence that comes from you is deafening.
You wanted me to leave yesterday, but I refused with an air of casualty and silenced your begging lips with mine.
It's been two years now and I can feel the cold shell surrounding me slowly. The lifeless grip that clung to me is slowly fading and I know I'm losing the one thing I never deserved.
Tell me again how you feel and place false hopes in my head. Hold me when I cry and bat your serene eyelids with an innocence so unreal I see right through you.
The scars on my lightly freckled skin are a sign of each carefully placed mark of affection.
She doesn't know what it's like for me.
I spend my days lying in bed, the sun is tanning my skin and the light is evading my eyes. I roll over to the far side of the bed, into the cold shadows.
I'm alone now. She's left me here by myself. I call out her name, and the wind carries it throughout the house, echoing off the walls and creating silence once again.
Everything's so blurry, I've been crying for two summers now. It's been ages since you've made me smile. I know if you were here, you'd sit next to me and study my melancholy expression and tell me that tomorrow would be better.
It never gets better when I'm with you. Things are worse when I'm alone.
She promised she wouldn't break me.
Late at night I hear her talking in her sleep and I feel the false safeness she consumes me with. Her arms wrapped loosely around my waist and her leg is dangling over mine. My eyes are red from the late night love she sprung upon me and the lack of sleep from mulling over dead matters. No matter how many times I said I didn't want her, I took her fragile body in and accepted her night after night.
Now it's nearing 3 a.m. and I listen closely for any sign, some hidden proof of her love. It's the middle of summer and the sheets are warm and dampened with sweat. The only sound that escapes her is of soft purring, and I can tell she feels safe with me, I sense her dreaming.
I know that every mumbled profession of love will go unnoticed. I'll stay with her until she throws me away, used and broken. I'd rather have her warm meaningless love than an empty bed.
Do you know me
Have you seen me cry
Held me in your arms
While my body goes numb
Against the merciless world
Do you love me
Have you held my hand
Watch me smile
Danced with me to hushed melodies
Do you see me
When I close my eyes
And pretend I'm invisible
When I get lost in the crowd
And feel like just one of them
Can you find me
When I'm hiding from everyone
Do you know where I go
That place inside my perplexed mind
Did you know I've vanished
Make me feel every atom inside you
Then drop kick me across the
the never ending grasp of reality
While you weave dreams of silence and wretchedness
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More